Monster T-shirt History
Our t-shirts are lovingly crafted from 100% hand-selected unicorn fur (also known by its common name: Cotton). Each unicorn hair is carefully plucked from only the left flank, thereby ensuring no harm to the beast. The hair is tenderly combed and processed by young maidens (only known persons able to approach said unicorns) resulting in the fine fabric from which are t-shirts are made.
Finally, they are hand-dyed using the ink of the Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni (the Colossal Squid — you don’t even want to know how we get that. Needless to say it is very hazardous. Life-threatening, even. Look it up.) giving the t-shirts a uniform inky ebony color.
Treat your t-shirt with love and kindness and you shall be repaid many-fold times.